Why am I an INFP?

Why am I an INFP? Some people have claimed that they can get different results based on ‘how they are feeling’ or ‘depending on whats going on in their lives’… Interesting thought…

Issues in my private? life affect me at a level only a ‘true blue, dinky die, fair dinkum, no bullshit’ INFP could understand.

Mental Mutilation

It’s the mental ‘self-mutilation’ that INFP’s perform on themselves that I have no answer for.

INFP’s need to be in a loving and caring relationship with someone who really does value them. To be in a relationship with someone who’s commitment is highly questionable creates the ‘mental mutilation’ I am referring to.

Self Centered

I realise that I am quite self centered in many ways. I try not to be. Especially in a relationship. But I guess I pretty well ‘fail’ in this regard.

If I think I have the love, respect, and trust of those around me. I can relax. Finally the driving preasure to be in a happy environment is ended. In my happyness I tend to become too self absorbed. Thinking everything is fine in ‘the land of Oz’ I try to concentrate on other things. Like finding work. Or creating webpages. Which in the process absorbs a lot of my time and ends up annoying the hell out of those around me.

So the circle continues..

Rolling with the Punches

I think the main difficulty in a relationship with an INFP is that perhaps as a personality we ARE capable of change.

Change bought about by the re-inforcement of a loving partner perhaps?

Less than perfect relationships extract their toll from the INFP.

But dont make me "feel" bad..

I have an ‘invisible’ line in the ‘moral’ sand. Once this ‘invisible moral line’ is crossed by my partner. I loose it. Completely. I become totally inflexible. I demand that the ‘line’ be ‘uncrossed’. I listen but refuse to ‘take in’ anything that isn’t related to ‘uncrossing’ the line that has been broken.

This ‘invisible’ moral line. Is almost un-explainable. But is mirrored in how I treat my partner.

I think to myself. How ‘dare’ they say that to me. They have no respect for me. Am I worthless is their eyes? What have I done to be treated in such a manner? Do they have someone they would rather be living with? Why have they done this? Don’t they care how they make me feel?

All these questions and more flash thru my mind. Over and over. My ‘mental mutilation’. I ask each question. But mostly receive unexpected replies. Accusations that I am at fault? But refusals to give answers that would calm the situation.

Make it stop

Slowly under these conditions I change from a rational caring person to one that just wants this kind of pain to be extinct.

At those moments I can happily thow it all away.

I feel betrayed, dismayed, and just want it to stop. Which of course it doesn’t. Even if I get away from the cause of the issue. My mind keeps whirling around and around. Making me go back time and time again. To say the things that have ‘popped’ in my damaged INFP mentality.

Later...

Later. When I calm down. I realise that the world didn’t come to an end. The critism that was levelled at me wasnt the end of everything.

Thats when I feel so sorry for the stupid way I have acted. I realise that Im an INFP. That doesn’t help much. Now that I’m calm.

It would be nice to ‘become’ something other than INFP.














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